Life By The Slice, The column - observations on life, relationships and humanity - sometimes humorous, sometimes serious, always from the heart.

Previous Columns
Not-so-hot off the press!

All newspaper editors want to know what their readers like. If you would like to read this feature in your local newspaper, please do not hesitate to share your enthusiasm with your local newspaper editor.

Cell phone conversations: The new reality show

Recently, while clothes shopping, I was distracted when I heard the ring of a cell phone. My peripheral caught a wave of heads collectively bow as they checked their mobiles.

Two racks over, I noticed a woman do the cell phone flip. Her voice carried through the Ladies Department as she said, "Hello," then "No, I'm at the grocery store."

I paused then continued flipping through the hangers in order to appear as if I were still shopping so I could be privy to the remainder of what was shaping up to be an interesting conversation. Here was a woman, cart full of potential purchases, blatantly lying to whomever she was speaking with on the phone.

"I'm just getting stuff for dinner," she said nonchalantly.

I looked around and didn't see any meat entrees or salad fixings while she told whoever was on the phone that it was really crowded here. Technically not a lie. It was crowded.

The one sided conversation continued with how she was in aisle eight and would look for the barbecue sauce. However, she didn't anticipate that the clerk at the checkout would announce over the 130 decibel PA system that a price was needed from the shoe department. Last I checked shoes weren't a food group.

I glanced at her startled face and watched it turn beet red. She turned her back to me and I went the other direction, figuring it really wasn't my business anyway. At that moment she began arguing, loudly for several painful minutes. The fight ended with a snap of her phone and a collective sigh of relief from my co-shoppers.

I was ashamed of myself for eavesdropping and embarrassed for her. Until I began thinking more about it. Don't get me wrong, I'm still ashamed for trying to listen at the beginning of the conversation, but once the fight broke out, the only way for me to not overhear involved my leaving the store. So, I feel no remorse for having overheard what was clearly something she made my (and everyone else's) business.

Since that day I've witnessed more instances of cell phone users who either a) don't understand that others can overhear them or b) just don't care. Some examples --

In our quiet neighborhood, a young man came walking by on the street shouting into his cell phone, trying to make his girlfriend understand that he had not broken up with her. There were other people nearby in their front yards watching him as he paced at the end of the street and loudly continued his side of the argument. He was so wrapped up in the heat of the moment, that the lot of us learned more than we needed to know.

At an outdoor cafe where the tables are about three feet apart, a woman sitting at the one next to me answered her phone. Her voice became hushed, her face flushed and she looked around nervously. I could still hear her when she told someone that she couldn't meet him that night because her husband wasn't going out of town after all.

Then today while standing in line at the bank I wondered if it would be considered insider trading if I followed up on the lucrative advice the stockbroker, while using his cell phone, gave his client (and everyone else in the lobby).

Maybe people in general, on some social subconscious level still believe that when a phone is to their ear, that they're really in the confines and privacy of the walls at home. I'm not certain of the reasons behind this phenomenon but these recent events have at least served to highlight a couple of interesting points.

One, just because we have the ability to discuss any issue at any given time in the public forum, does not necessarily mean that it's a good idea, and two, if you are in the public forum and feel you might have to lie, confess, argue, or give confidential advice, then my vote is, don't use your cell phone.