Life By The Slice, The column - observations on life, relationships and humanity - sometimes humorous, sometimes serious, always from the heart.

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RELEASED NOVEMBER 11, 2003

What a Surprise

This week I'd like to follow-up with a report on my surprise 40^th birthday party from last Saturday night.

It truly was a surprise because I didn't know my friends really had that much energy. Maybe it was a collective thing. Either that, or it's because most of them are all younger than me. As they so often point out.

After my arrival and once the paramedics departed, having deemed my heart rate within acceptable norms, I was regaled with tales of the conspiracy, treason, and treachery that had transpired behind my very back for weeks. This would explain why my friends had the energy to pull this off -- deviousness fuels their fires.

My attention then turned to the food-laden table. I will have to say the spread was something to behold. It was all homemade and of five-star caliber. I'm sure it was all low-fat, too. Fortunately, there were leftovers which meant I didn't have to cook for a day or so.

Out of the kindness of their hearts, they then adorned me with a red sash that announced how fabulous and 40 I was and dug into my hairdo with a diamond studded tiara. As my husband laid a bushel of red roses in the crook of my arm, he informed me all of this was from his sister. How sweet of her, and how unfortunate she hadn't been able to make it to the party. I'll be visiting her soon though. Unannounced.

A while later, a friend rushed in and cleared the room by announcing how cool the moon looked because there was a lunar eclipse happening. Seeing as how the party was held in a banquet room at the local Holiday Inn, we drew quite a few strange looks from hotel guests arriving for check-in. Imagine about 20 people, all dressed in black milling about in the parking lot. We're all holding wine glasses filled with purple liquid, their alleged leader wearing a crown, black dress, red sash, Nikes (hey, the feet aren't what they used to be) and staring up at the moon.

Once we realized the eclipse was going to take longer than 10 minutes and frostbite was setting in we returned to party central to warm ourselves by the fire.

On the cake.

They had the standard, stubby, black wax candles, all 40 of them, but my dear friend, Amy, had added three tall wooden sticks with candles at their tops. Fortunately, my stepson, quick thinker that he is, jumped fast and began blowing after they had been ignited. It was a good thing because the small candles had torched the taller ones and a bonfire had ensued. What remained of the cake was still tasty though.

At one point, everyone was busy talking amongst themselves about back troubles, arthritis, and the latest miracle medical procedures. Here were all of my great friends in one room, for one evening. It was then I rested on my cane, leaned against the rocker and thought to myself, I wonder what's in all those gift boxes and bags?

I opened the treasures that my friends had brought from afar and was in awe about the work, time, and thoughtfulness of everyone who attended my funeral. I mean, surprise 40^th birthday party. Thank goodness it only comes around once.

Here's looking forward to a hopefully very unsurprising 41^st.